Revival

The danger of being lonely is that you easily fall for the very first person who shows you that you are not alone. I was walking after a painful experience when someone came, She came just in time that I needed someone in my life, She never left me when I needed her most. She stood by me all along. And when with no intentions, I fell for her. Then after all that has happened, I began to wonder. She did help me forget my sad story and yet she started another one....

Realisation

Ive often heard ppl "say never let a good thing pass you by", Ive never understood that until recently I let down a person who really cared for me. I was so caught up in living by my so called rules and principles that I overlooked everything good around me. But now when I realised what ive lost, ive been cursing myself not because I lost such a good thing but because I did hurt somebody a lot who didn’t deserve it.

Its been almost two years since I moved in Delhi circle and since then ive been on a roll of hurting those who love and care about me one after another after another, and its been going on and on, and now when I finally realise my mistake there is nowhere to go or find anyone of them so that I can ask them for forgiveness. Ive become all alone in this town with no one to share my thoughts with or to even spill my heart out.

I considered myself a loner from the start and in the process I lost a lot of good ppl who considered me to be there friend and in some cases even more. Now since I know im not a loner ive vowed never to let a good thing pass me by and im gonna take it no matter in whichever form I recieve it. Ill always accept it with full heart.

Enlightenment

When you are 19 years of age there are too many choices seems to feel right. Once you decide to give a special place to someone in your life, its not like you wanna relationship or something but ya your behaviour towards the person changes to some extent. As a matter of fact even I decided to give a place to somebody in my life but the problem arose when my changing behaviour towards her was taken as rudeness and trying to make a fool of her in front of everyone. Now c’mon we are in college aren’t we, we do like to fool around and have fun but that doesn’t mean you want to insult somebody.

Today things changed dramatically although I didn’t wanted any of this to happen but thing just aren’t going my way. The one big thing I learnt is that never try to make a person special if they don’t want it . I really don’t like to talk much but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about them but the thing that happened today hurted me a lot and I really wanted to go somewhere where I can find some peace and try to come back to my senses but it wasn’t gonna happen. I was stuck there just to sense the pain growing within me not wanting to speak to anybody else.

Another thing that I experienced is that when a person who speaks to somebody quite often, even about making fun of that person in front af a number of ppl it is simply ignored. Does this means that ppl respect and feel for only that person who speaks a lot? Or is it simply that im not accepted in my so called friend circle? Whatever may be the reason the one conclusion I can reach is to stay aloof from the society keeping my pain and happiness within me so that I waont have to get hurt ever again.

Evasion

Sometimes things makes sense and sometimes they don’t, while im trying to make my friends hate it, im being put on the spot of reversing my decision. Ive been constantly hurting a few friends bt they just wouldn’t give up on me. This thing is making me weak, putting me through emotional trauma, well the irony here is that I wanna become completely emotionless. I wanna become a guy who doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything what ppl are doing around him.

Its been long since ive expressed myself completely bt then again there is a right time for the right thing. If I look at myself ive always been ditched, used, betrayed and thrown away by ppl whom ive considered my friends and trusted them without any doubts.

It has come to this that today I can’t find the courage to trust anyone and thus want ppl to hate me because it reminds me of my pain and keeps me on track, it also reminds me of my motive and goal in life. This pain keeps me alive and thrive me to do what is right for me and the ppl around , bt yet again there comes an irony of me wanting ppl to hate me and then again I wanna do good to them. I have never been this confuse.

My so called friends think that I remain aloof from society just because of the bad incidents from my past bt the thimg they don’t know is that I real reason of me trying to remain away from ppl is due to the bad things ive done to nice ppl. This is the only thing that scares me. I don’t know what has gotten into me but I sure do know this one thing the I will soon be forced to make a choice, I don’t know what its gonna be bt I really want the ppl around me to be happy irrespective of my choice. 

I me & myself

Lets start with some introduction my name is Kopal Srivastava.......... bt i like to be called DK.... it stands for "devil king", well u must be thinking why such a wierd name...... its just coz i wanna be the biggest, badest nd meanest person the world has ever seen.....
people consider me crazy and insane for this bt i like it..... i take it as a compliment.....
i am what i am and i luv it.... my friends luv me for what i am..............

Just to end this i'll like to add that, if your my friend i can even give my life for you.......