Sometimes things makes sense and sometimes they don’t, while im trying to make my friends hate it, im being put on the spot of reversing my decision. Ive been constantly hurting a few friends bt they just wouldn’t give up on me. This thing is making me weak, putting me through emotional trauma, well the irony here is that I wanna become completely emotionless. I wanna become a guy who doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything what ppl are doing around him.
Its been long since ive expressed myself completely bt then again there is a right time for the right thing. If I look at myself ive always been ditched, used, betrayed and thrown away by ppl whom ive considered my friends and trusted them without any doubts.
It has come to this that today I can’t find the courage to trust anyone and thus want ppl to hate me because it reminds me of my pain and keeps me on track, it also reminds me of my motive and goal in life. This pain keeps me alive and thrive me to do what is right for me and the ppl around , bt yet again there comes an irony of me wanting ppl to hate me and then again I wanna do good to them. I have never been this confuse.
My so called friends think that I remain aloof from society just because of the bad incidents from my past bt the thimg they don’t know is that I real reason of me trying to remain away from ppl is due to the bad things ive done to nice ppl. This is the only thing that scares me. I don’t know what has gotten into me but I sure do know this one thing the I will soon be forced to make a choice, I don’t know what its gonna be bt I really want the ppl around me to be happy irrespective of my choice.
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